Clearing (by Martha Postlewaite)
Do not try to save
the whole world
or do anything grandiose.
in the dense forest
of your life
and wait there
until the song
that is your life
falls into your own cupped hands
and you recognize and greet it.
Only then will you know
how to give yourself
to this world
so worthy of rescue.
I have personally never solved a Rubik’s cube toy. As a child, we had them around the house. I always managed to get a few of the sides completed, but became very disoriented when I had to disassemble those sides to continue solving the puzzle. I admit, I have not touched a Rubik’s cube in well over 20 years.
A few facts about the Rubik’s cube (thank you Wikipedia):
- invented in 1974 by Hungarian sculptor and professor of architecture Ernő Rubik
- Widely considered the world’s best-selling toy
- There are 43 quintillion possible positions (43 + 18 zeros)
- If you take the pieces apart and reassemble it, there are 519 quintillion possibilities!
Thinking about the Rubik’s cube, it has a definite and finite number of pieces, 54. Yet from that small number you are able to create almost unimaginable possibilities. And in those possible moves, there are an overwhelming amounts of moves that are incorrect. However, if you were handed a scrambled Rubik’s cube and directed to solve it, you would have everything you needed in those 54 tiles at your fingertips. Again, you have all the tools you need. Despite the crazy number of possibilities, the high likelihood that you will make errors, and the difficulty involved – you can solve the Rubik’s cube. It may take time, practice, and lots of patience. But you can do it.
A good friend and I have spent many conversations over the last few years talking about life, but always with a similar theme. Throughout the different topics (family, children, spirituality,health, careers), we both seem to be pulled toward finding the best solution or purpose for our endeavors.
I’ve begun to realize I have reached a point in my life where I no longer need to look for the next addition, accomplishment, or acquaintance. Within my life, much like the 54 tiles on a Rubik’s cube, I have all the tools I need to succeed. In my 38 years so far, I have put many of the sides together. But I have not yet managed to place all the tiles in such an order that they create a harmonious pattern and appeal. However, I have all the tools I need.
Think about all the different components of your life, I don’t even think I could list 54 individual parts. But, just as in the Rubik’s cube, there are so many potential combinations. And when you finally hit on the perfect placement, everything is suddenly aligned!
I am going to continue to work toward my goals, turning, flipping, constantly re-evaluating. But I find comfort in the idea that I have built the structure and foundation. And with patience and perseverance, I will be able to see all the pieces fall into place.
Or maybe I just order myself a Rubik’s Cube and call it a day!
Julia Child was an amazing cook, and I remember watching her show as a child. It was fascinating for so many reasons. First of all, Julia herself. She was an enigma to a young girl. She had a marbled voice that rolled over your ears as you listened to her. And she usually had guests on the show with her who were obviously deterring to her expertise and experience in the kitchen. And she found such joy in the process of cooking and creating good food. And she is the first person I ever heard say to only cook with good wine.
Another lesson I learned somewhat later in life is to look for the synchronicity in life. I was a junior in high school, having just moved to New Mexico from Michigan after my parents divorce. I was failing English at the public high school (after being an A student in the Honors Program at the catholic high school I had just left). So yeah, I was handling it pretty well. My teacher was not particularly fond of me, and I don’t blame her. But she gave a lecture on the concept of Synchronicity, and against all odds, I was in class that day and paying attention. The idea of meaningful coincidences struck a chord with me. Granted, at that point I was selfishly motivated and only attracted further negativity to myself. But the idea still took root and has grown.
With this blog, I have begun to experience moments of synchronicity, or meaningful coincidences, in greater frequency. One of my favorite bloggers, Kris Carr, shared a series of videos that were available from Hay House. Through those links, I came upon a video series by Dr Wayne Dyer. Total disclosure, these videos that I found are advertising essentially to join an online course. I have no intention of taking the online course at this point in my life. If you are interested in watching the preview videos or finding out more about his course, click here. However, I have watched the first four clips that he has filmed sharing some of these ideas. I was so enthralled, I quickly paused the videos and got a notebook and pen to take notes. That is NOT my norm, usually I am clicking between three screens, listening to audio in the background as I search through the local Facebook news!
He spoke about many ideas, but was focused on the phrase “I Am”, and how that can be used to manifest the positive and desired changes you want in your life. And inversely, how it can propagate the negative and self-defeating behaviors that we all develop. At one point, he shared this quote,
“Don’t put anything in your imagination that you don’t want to manifest in your life.”
Hey Julia!! It’s the same idea! Don’t cook with crappy wine, your food will taste like crap. And don’t let negative thoughts and ideas gain a foothold in your mind, your life will be a manifestation of your thoughts and emotions. This was a personal “Aha!” moment for me.
He also shared that as he has progressed through this philosophy, and has continued to open his awareness to the “Light” as he calls it, he has reached a burning desire for radical well-being. Radical Well-Being. Think about that. What does that mean for you? What would you imagine if you thought of your life in a state of Radical Well-Being. What is holding you back from making the changes to get there?
October 15. It snuck up on me this year, I am so busy with my two daughters and their busy schedules. What a wonderful blessing. But, I’m so glad that today is gaining strength and awareness. October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
I remember a point, about 9 years ago, before I was pregnant with my oldest daughter. I feared the calendar. At that point in our fertility journey the calendar seemed to be riddled with landmines of horrible and sad days. Anniversaries of getting pregnant, first ultrasounds, hearing the baby’s first heartbeat! And then the subsequent appointments and losses. We went through three pregnancies with miscarriages. Each achingly sweet pregnancy let me know what unconditional love truly felt like. And each heartbreaking loss took me to the depths of sorrow, where not even my husband could comfort me.
I didn’t know then that so many women had gone through their own journey, and had faced the same sweet love that you find at the beginning of a pregnancy, and dealt with a subsequent unique loss. At the time, I was desperate. In my desperation I looked for answers from doctors about why this was happening to me. But what I really wanted was to have my children in my arms, and not in my memory and marked as losses on a calendar.
Fast forward 9 years, and I now understand how frequent miscarriages and infant loss are among women. And I understand that dr’s simply do not have the answers that a desperate mother-to-be desires. But I do firmly believe that through support and awareness, we can ease the terrible heartache that a pregnancy loss can create.
Tonight I will light my candles, and I will remember all of the babies that mothers were never able to hold in their arms. Your courage will be celebrated, and your babies memories will be cherished.
Much love and strength
The Ten-Year Nap, by Meg Wolitzer
I was very excited about this at first, I thought it was about how to take a ten year nap (the dream of mother’s accross the world). I quickly learned that was not the case, but I’m amazed by the insights the author has into the minds of moms. And that my same fears and insecurities are shared by a former lawyer living in New York City.
Stay tuned for a full review!
Hmmm…. After months, actually years, of daydreaming of having a blog. I find myself without anything to say. What?! Anybody who knows me personally can attest to my prolific number of opinions! And I may be called a “zealot” by my husband on certain occasions. However, I now find myself questioning every topic that I consider for a post. Too materialistic, too personal, too emotional, too topical.
I am faced with putting my thoughts and feelings into print and find myself judging them as not worthy. Uh-oh. That doesn’t sit well with my opinions and being a bold and courageous role model for my daughters. It doesn’t fit into the realm of personal growth advice that I offer to my clients. Stand up and behind yourself!
So, I have some writing practice that I need to focus on. I need to write an uncensored, non-scripted post once a week. And in the process, find my written voice. I hope and expect to be proud of the end result, but I am dreading the process.
Case in point: I put “Write a Post” on my to-do list on Sunday. It is Friday. And this is the best I’ve got. Like I said, an area for growth! But right now, I get to cross that item off my list!! **Happy Dance**
What is something that you find difficult to do but still want to accomplish? How do you motivate yourself and create accountability?
As a mom, I know the most effective way to get a band-aid off is to rip it off. Fast, hard, without any hesitation. The more you hesitate, the more it will hurt. I’ve tried many times to convince my children that this is true. So today, I am taking my own advice, I am ripping off the band-aid and actually starting the blog I have so many times discussed. It’s not all done, it’s not really ready. I don’t have the format totally (or even partially) figured out.
As many years as I’ve thought of doing this, and I’m still nervous. Thank you for coming here and reading my blog!
To share a little bit about myself… I am a mother to two girls. I am a personal trainer and group fitness instructor part time. I live in beautiful Michigan in a small town. My goal is to offer a safe space to share, discuss, debate and encourage one another as we make our way through our daily lives. I do not claim to be an expert on anything, I will not try to sell you a “program” to fix anything. I am hoping to expand and nurture my tribe that I live in and continue to grow as a person.
Some of the guidelines I will use regarding this blog…
- I make the rules. Yep, this is my space. I invite you to please join me, share, and disagree. However, I have the right to withhold personal information. I will act to protect the personal information of myself and any readers and commenters. (Can you tell I just took a HIPAA course!)
- I am not an expert. Truly, not a thing. So anything I say is subject to review, and may not apply to you. But I am going to share as honestly as I can what I know at this moment in my own journey. You can digest it for yourself, and use it however you like.
- There will be irony and sarcasm, in droves. They are my safety blanket, and I’m not giving them up. But I will try to cut through my own walls and barriers to share real. meaningful thoughts and questions with you.
Sitting down and writing this blog is the first step in a journey I have been hoping to take for quite some time. I feel like we are all wandering through our lives, struggling to find reasons, balance, and purpose. (I often find myself simply wandering down the grocery store aisle hoping to find inspiration for dinner) And whenever I am fortunate enough to have those wonderful conversations with friends in my life that leave me renewed and invigorated, I realize we are all wandering down those same grocery aisles.
What’s for dinner?
Is the generic brand really any different than the store brand pasta?
Should we push more after school activities or give our kids more free time?
If a kid falls and no adult sees it, does the kid still cry??
So please join me, share your own stories, and let us wander together!